Hey y’all! Guess what? I’m starting a new series on the blog and I am so excited to announce that I will introduce a few other moms throughout the coming weeks who were so kind to allow me to share their story! I decided to kick it off with mine. Make sure to come back every week to check for new posts.
Many of you probably already know this but I miscarried before I had my son. You can read about the miscarriage in case you haven’t already. Obviously, I was devastated and when I mean devastated, I was depressed, angry, hurt, and emotionally drained. I was also a newlywed so things weren’t starting off too great for us. The doctors also told my husband and me that we will never have children. I’ll have great success getting pregnant, but carrying a pregnancy full term was another issue. Of course I thought every single day how I would never be a mother and then suddenly all my friends ended up pregnant, one by one. Babies were born and still nothing happened with me. June 2014 came and my husband left for training with the military and was gone for three full months. I remember crying myself to sleep many nights because I was lonely, frustrated, and mad at myself for not having a body capable of producing children. In July I saw a specialist and we discussed my options and if my body could undergo surgery to make a pregnancy easier. The doctor wasn’t so caught on that idea and told me to get pregnant. What? For some reason when a doctor gives you the green light it’s often like, “whoa, okay, YEAH!” My husband returned in September and by October I found out I was pregnant-again.
All of the past emotions from the previous pregnancy stirred in my mind. I was scared. I was happy. I was worried. I overwhelmed. I was excited. I was nervous. I was hopeful. And most of all, I prayed. Seven weeks hit in my pregnancy and things were going good. I had crazy nausea, headaches, and all of the unpleasant first trimester symptoms. My husband left for a sea trial and I was home alone working on school. I suddenly had a crazy urge to go to the bathroom and that’s when I didn’t get off the toilet. The emotions hit all over again. The blood. The memories. The pain. The shock. The questions starting piling up in my mind and I immediately called home. My mom starting praying with me but she was over 1,000 miles away and couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t get a hold of my husband and I knew no one. After sitting on the toilet for what felt like 12 hours (but more like 5 minutes), my husband called! The ship pulled in early. Total God moment. We rushed to the ER where we waited for 8 hours until we found out if this baby was going to heaven–too.
The ultrasound tech led us to another room and did the exam to check on baby. I remember she turned the screen away from us! I was furious but also scared and didn’t want to know because I avoided feeling pain again. Finally by 4 in the morning we got the news. Baby had a steady heartbeat. I remember crying, crying, and crying. My legs went weak and chills raced around my spine. Baby was okay. I was diagnosed with the term, “possible miscarriage” whatever that meant. But the words on the slip of paper the doctor gave us said I could miscarry within the next 48 hours. I went home, got on my knees, praised God, begged God to let me keep my baby, and got on progesterone cream. The bleeding stopped within 2 days and things were looking good again. I was considered a high-risk pregnancy but I prayed against that, trusted Jesus, and let God take control.
Every single doctor I saw said I would not have a full term baby and lose the baby around 24-30 weeks. Well, June 25, 2015 came and I was 39 weeks and 3 days. Labor started fast. I went from 3cm to 9cm in 5 hours. I labored at home and delivered my sweet, healthy miracle and rainbow baby in my bed at 8:31, pm, 7lbs, 4oz and 20 inches long. My water broke 10 minutes before he arrived and my husband caught baby and cut the umbilical cord. The birth was beautiful, miraculous, and relaxing. I pushed a total of 20 minutes before my son came into the world with a beautiful little scream. My heart dropped because he was finally here. And every single doctor didn’t understand the power of God. The pain feels like a forever ago because once he was placed in my arms, every single worry and anxious thought vanished forever.
He is perfect. And being a mother is perfect.
I know this is more about my pregnancy than the birth but I believe both of them tie in together. Check the blog to read more stories in the coming weeks!